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This morning I woke up and like every morning before that I checked messages and emails.

It’s become kind of a ritual, before I have my breakfast smoothie, or roll out of bed, I switch on my phone to see what’s been happening on the other side of the world whilst I was sleeping.
(A nomadic life hazard of having family and friends in many different time zones.)

I’m guessing that like most of my female readers (and men too!), I have subscriptions to one or two magazines/fashion brands/pinterest boards…
Ok full confession, I am subscribed to pretty much every great fashion magazine and blog out there. I like to keep up to date with what’s trending, what issues are important to our generation, what the fashion world is doing and everything else that comes with it.

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The first two articles on my ELLE email, all things I would expect to see in Elle.

I’d like to think that I’m selective with what comes into my inbox. I avoid the gossip rags at all costs, not wanting to read the drivel they make up produce.
So you can imagine my disappointment when I opened my inbox this morning and practically every single article was about the Kardashian (and whatever other surnames they fall under) peoples.
I’m not even joking, the next 3 articles when I scrolled down, were these 3…

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One article, I could understand, but THREE articles on them? Come on, seriously does no one else on earth exist anymore? How does a child end up in a fashion mag? This was not a mothers and baby magazine, not a maternity magazine and not a gossip magazine…

So I started doing my research, I read the mission statements of each magazine (picture below), I thought that maybe I had gotten it wrong, that I was expecting too much from the editors. However when I read the statements, they were clearly saying one thing and doing the exact opposite. The articles they are pushing are neither empowering, intelligent or aspirational.

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Elle and Harpers Bazaar (Respectively) mission statements taken from their media presskits (23 August 2015)

As a model, I understand the importance of fashion, presentation and knowing how to dress your best. I love the artistic expression behind new makeup trends, seeing backstage photographs of models preparing for the runway, fashion designers stories of their inspiration for their latest season. Of course I’m hyperaware that unfortunately the kardashians are very sadly part of the current pop-culture. Yet the fact that this one family is a constant feature of articles from supposed educated writers and fashion journalists, is disheartening.

I’m sure the writers roll their eyes at every assignment they have to write about the “clan”. Is it really the masses who are driving this demand?
I would like to believe that it isn’t. My social circles have their focus on things far more interesting than mundane material on absolute strangers’ lives.

So then who is behind this massive push of these 5 or 6 people (I’m not completely sure how many there are in the family/group, I feel like they keep multiplying and there are more and more each time!)

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The header, taken from Elle’s online US site. The Kardashians featured in 3 of the 5 options…

I’m not expecting nobel prize writing or articles, but I do expect a certain standard. Fashion is more than just the same bandage dress in every shade, it’s more than the same 4 girls who are given everything by designers.
I want to know about fashion on the streets, affordable fashion, sustainable fashion, haute couture, celebrities, monarchies, designer from other countries, up and coming student designers… Oh the list could go on and on.

But instead we’re subjected to the same women/girls doing the same thing, wearing the same clothes, and posting the same instagram pictures with the same pout, same lack of clothing, and same designers that stock their wardrobes for them.

On the subject of transgender, I’m delighted that fashion and culture magazines are covering this topic. It’s incredible. But seriously it’s as if there is only one transgender person in this entire world…
The one person that they constantly interview and bestow praise on (highlighting how tough it has been), is starting to grow a little tiring. Sorry. I said it.
Reality shows, high end fashion labels, countless interviews, and bundles of money can’t be the average struggles of the transgender community.
There has to be so many more interesting, intelligent and articulate transgender people out there who could shed a much better light on the issues they are facing and what changes need to be made in our social system.
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Two articles about pregnancy and babies. I can’t stress enough that this is coming from a high end fashion magazine for women, not babies… and look, another one of them popped up! seriously how many of them are there? Make it stop!!

The general public is interested in so much more than just one family. But the media world is intent on throwing them in our faces, with every boring little detail. Things that aren’t relevant, things that don’t belong in high end fashion magazines. Things that do belong in gossip rags, weekly “news” on celebrities.

I wish that these high end magazines would instead present us with the amazing fashions of other people. The lives of other artists, musicians, businesswomen and those who are making an impact in the world.

I don’t know about you, but I want to see how powerful smart and intelligent women dress. Not just one single family that seems to have a strong hold over the media.

American magazines, take note of your European counterparts. They may still have one or two articles on them, but they cover much more of the real fashion world, relevant culture and news topics that are of interest to people everywhere.


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You are just too…

A song for you to scroll by ;)

Lately I’ve been hearing it everywhere. They/you/he/she is too: fat, skinny, ugly, neat, pretty, kind, assertive, stupid, feminist, bold, quiet…
The list could go on.
It’s as if the adverb “too” is now there solely to make the following verb a negative.
Think about it. If someone says “She’s too fat.” It’s still the same jibe as “She’s too skinny.” Even saying “She’s too healthy.” doesn’t come off as a positive thing. (Is there any such thing as too healthy or too happy?)


Not caring what anyone else is doing, I’m focusing on being as happy and healthy as possible!

I am just as guilty of doing this, as much as the next person. What prompted me to think about it was when I realized how negatively it was to view things this way.
I was watching an interview with a celebrity, and as she was talking I kept thinking “She seems to friendly, it’s coming off as a bit fake.”
Then I stopped. Wow, did I really just think that? Who was I to dictate how someone else should act. Did I know her personally? Nope! Was it affecting me directly? Nope!
Why am I concerned with the way someone else is acting/looking/simply being, if it’s neither harmful nor affecting my life!
She is a talented actress who should have more of the focus on her craft and skills rather than the intense scrutiny she gets on the way she conducts interviews or the way she appears.

She looked happy in that interview, they were talking about her latest film, the places she had visited and other interesting facts about her life.
And yet I’m sure that a majority of the thousands of people who had watched it, were probably making mental judgements on what she was wearing, what her body looked like and whether she fit their ideal of happiness and social presence.


Don’t judge me, I promise not to judge you :)

Why is that so important to us? Admittedly appearance is a huge part of being human. We are visual creatures. But tell me have you ever seen a child wearing tattered and muddy clothing, so unabashedly happy? I used to be that kid, who didn’t care what I was wearing, how I looked. I cared more about being happy and making the people around me happy.
We need to move back to being those kids who don’t care if someone else is a little weird, hyper, quiet, messy, clean… Yes you can still take pride in the way you look. You can conduct yourself with the decorum that you deem right There is absolutely nothing wrong with that (especially if it makes you happy!)
But we need to stop pushing our ideals onto everyone else. We are not the parents of the world, we are all navigating our own paths.
So make a promise to yourself today to focus on your achievements and goals, work hard to help your friends and family achieve theirs. Forget about the little things that annoy you, forget about judging someone else’s journey, and take delight in the happiness of others!


Four shots and I couldn’t figure out that riding on the sand is not the best idea! 

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Sharing is caring


Do you have that friend that always posts their complaints on public forums?
Thinly veiled jabs at ex’s that are way too obvious, whingeing and whining, pity pictures of them being sick (but still somehow looking beautiful) and harrowing sob stories of how busy and stressed they are…  does this sound all too familiar, making you want to never post anything personal ever again?
If you answered yes, you’re not alone. Most of my social media buddies post funny memes, news events, recipes, photo’s and sometimes even controversial musings. But the lack of complaining leaves me breathing a sigh of relief.
I thought that having a complaint free newsfeed would be good for my happiness, but then I read a blog post recently that changed my thoughts on it all.


All the happy things, but are we hiding the other side to ourselves?

The post was by a friend, entailing her struggles through sickness and the road to recovery. Her story resonated with me. As someone that’s been suffering from chronic fatigue for years, I recognised a lot of similarities with what she was saying and her journey shone a light on tips and tricks to make life easier and recovery faster.
Not only that, her story was a great read. It was about life, loss, hardships and finding good health again.

Maybe complaining isn’t such a bad thing. It was a dose of reality knowing that everyone goes through tough and good times. Not just seeing the perpetual happy and sparkly life. (Not that I’m complaining, I love seeing all the good things!)

Carrying my own struggles are usually something I keep hidden.

Following my friends’ journeys are like reading good books. Each one with personal triumphs and difficulties. There are no rights or wrongs when it comes to this, sometimes sharing the darker side to life might be just the thing that someone else reading it, needs.
You never know how much your story might be impacting someone else. No matter how big or small, a difference is still a difference.

So don’t be afraid to share your ups and downs, both are equally as important.

*(If you are in need of an outlet to share your story or want advice on blogging, please don’t hesitate to contact me for advice! Or I would be happy to interview you!!)

Photography by Louis Lay. Instagram @louislay

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Raise me up

I know there’s been hundreds of articles about this “ruined” generation. We, the self absorbed, instant gratification generation.
The ones that are given participation awards for everything we do. All the “Well done’s”, “pats on the back”, “good job” for every mediocre thing that we do. The congratulations and encouragement given for every little thing done, no matter how half arsed.

But here it is. We are not that. We are not the kind of people who expect compliments and applause for everything we do. In fact far from it.
I know so many of my ilk who work silently behind the scenes, so many scientists, actors, teachers, musicians, students, doctors, painters… the list goes on.
I can understand why the past generations think that we’re so eager to receive. They are unused to this new world of social media, of quick and instant updates, of showing the good side to everything and avoiding talking about the real things.
But perhaps what they don’t know is the dark side of all this.

That time I finally learnt my J turns… proud moment for me hehehe.
Posting an achievement on Facebook/instagram/twitter, is the present day equivalent to hanging your diploma proudly in a frame above the dining room table.
I’m going to use an example that most people can relate to.

You’ve just received an award for an exceptional piece of work. It’s something prestigious, that you’ve worked on for a few years. It might even be something you’ve had your sights set on for ages. Something you’ve spent countless hours studying, working on, creating, pouring your blood sweat and tears into.
You’re proud, and rightfully so.
So you post it up. And then the disappointment comes.

Playing instruments makes me happy, but it also takes a lot of practice and studying :)

It comes from the fact that friends happen to like the superficial things you post. Liking only the selfies and elitedaily link shares.. the posts about “being in your 20’s” and “how to contour your face like b-grade celebrities”
I’m not saying they’re superficial, it’s just so much easier to switch your brain off when you’re scrolling through ocean of information that is your newsfeed. It so much easier to like all of the pretty pictures, and big bold headlines accompanied by whimsical pictures of couples cuddling naked on a mountain somewhere.

I know I shouldn’t care. I know I should be secure in the work that I do, I know that likes, and comments shouldn’t matter.
Here’s the thing, they do matter.
Not necessarily to me, more the like counts and play counts and shares all matter for my music.
As do models posting on instagram. Gone are the days of booking a job just on your looks and personality. It’s now judged by how much of a following you can bring to the table.
Journalists are judged on how many shares their articles get.
Artists are judged on the like count of their work.

Walking for a fashion show.. sometimes it’s the little victories that make us feel like we’re getting somewhere.

I make it a point to like my friends’ work and posts. I don’t go crazy and shamelessly like everything , but I take the time to read posts. To see what my friends are up to around the world. To be happy with their achievements, no matter how big or small it’s an achievement for them.
Something that might seem little to me, could be a huge deal for them. Likewise, when I post a clip of a new song I’ve learnt, a picture of finished shoot, a blog post… All of it are small little achievements that I’ve worked hard on.

So perhaps next time you’re scrolling through, remember be kind and share the love. It takes barely a second for you to double tap a picture, hit the like button on a post. And it would mean the world to the person posting it.
No one ever died or was shamed for liking too many of their friends things!
Friends and family support each other, because if we don’t then who will!

To all my readers, you guys are amazing! Thank you for your comments, suggestions on how I can improve and new topics to write about. Thank you for watching my music videos, taking the time to like and comment on youtube, instagram etc.
Every single like and comment, I take to heart and your support does not go unnoticed!
I hope I have returned the favour with my comments, likes, shares, encouragement etc!

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Born from one, Citizen of all?

Lolitta - Lookbook 240912 3729 copy

I was born in Melbourne, Australia. A beautiful city, rich with intertwining cultures and  four seasons in one day. No seriously, it can go from being a hot and humid 38 degrees celsius, to storm clouds and hail in a few hours. I grew up with almost all of my cousins close by, and family gatherings once a week were not uncommon.

Since leaving Melbourne, I’ve been lucky (or driven) enough to live in many other cities and countries. Each one has its’ own unique quirks and charm. Sure not all of them have me begging to return, but I can still remember every place I’ve lived in with a certain fondness and seemingly push aside all of the unfortunate events. It’s funny how reminiscence can do that to you.


So now I write to you from sunny Vancouver. Another gloriously beautiful city, albeit a little quieter than I would prefer. You see, I’m used to a bustling metropolis, a city that never sleeps, 24/7 party people.
It wasn’t always like that, but I can’t unlive what I have lived.

When people ask “Where are you from?” It’s a double edged question. Ummm do you perhaps mean my heritage? If that’s the case I’m German & Chinese. I naturally go for the German football team in the world cup, and know all the words to German nursery rhymes. Although I know all the recipes passed down by my mother and her mother for traditional Chinese cooking (Which is nothing like the Chinese takeout you get in Western countries, yuk!)
Then there’s the fact that I was born and raised in Australia. Yes I know my situation is not a unique one, practically every kid I went to school with came from an immigrant family whether it be first or third generation.

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All my bags are packed, I’m ready to go.

But now there’s something else to add to the mix (pun intended). If you were to ask “Where is home?” I could give you a different answer depending on who you were.
To the immigration officers and all legal forms, home is Vancouver. But I grew up and still have my family and strong roots in Melbourne. Then there’s Singapore which I have frequented so much in the past 10 years that I think I have more close friends in that one city than anywhere else.
Of course there’s Toronto that I spent a very cold year in, Thailand that I’ve lived in for a year and a half cumulative, or Hong Kong where I had my “wildest youth” moments.
The list could keep going, but I’m not going to bore you with my passport stamps.

Travelling with my friends through Thailand.

It’s a beautiful thing really, I feel a rush of happiness when I see any one of my “adopted” countries achieving something great. Singapore is living proof of religious harmony. Nowhere else have I experienced so many religions and cultures living and working side by side in cooperation and friendship.
Germany has renewable energy in housing going strong, showing the rest of the world that it’s possible and economically viable.
Canada has a city in Alberta that could possibly eradicate homelessness by the end of this year! (You can read more about it here)

No matter where I’ve been or where I’ll go, each city and place is home now. Forever destined to be a part of me.

Forever dreaming of my next destination.


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I’m in the pursuit of happiness


There’s a great song by Kid Cudi, the lyrics to the chorus are:
I’m on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain’t always gonna be gold, hey
I’ll be fine once I get it, yeah
I’ll be good.

Now whilst I know he’s not exactly singing about the same topic I’m writing on, I think his lyrics ring true.


In my teens and early twenties I had not a single care in the world. Not a one. Life was great, life came easy, happiness came even easier. Now that’s a life worth living right?
It was completely awesome and completely fun filled. I travelled fearlessly without a thought for where my next home would be, I worked in whichever country wanted me. I picked my next place of travel by what kind of cuisine I favoured.
I can tell you’re waiting for a big “but then…”. But I’m not going to say that, there is no “but then.” No “world crashing down” moment. Instead It wasn’t anything so dire, instead it was a return to my original passions, a realization that not everything necessarily has to be sunshine and rainbows 24/7. (It would be great, but it can’t always be!)

There’s this fine line that I’m treading at the moment. Keeping happiness and hard work in tandem.
I’ve chosen the path of a struggling artist. Emphasis on struggling, but then again I’m pretty lucky where I am.
It’s not the easiest of jobs, but If it was easy then everyone would be doing it right?


So what I’m getting at is that there are so many mixed messages out there. Countless websites that tell you “If you don’t love going to work every day, then you’re in the wrong job.”
Instagram sites showing you pictures of a life that is apparently “In your grasp” where you too can live from island to island and be decked out in designer threads.
Articles in magazines and newspapers touting “overnight success stories” and people that have made it on “practically no training or work.”
It’s amazing that everyone is trying to sell this lie that all the best things in life come free and easy. Honestly what’s wrong with a little hard work? You ask anyone who’s at the peak of their dream job, and they’ll most likely tell you that they went through a roller coaster of emotions during the climb up there. I have different thoughts every day on music. (I guess it is a creative job, and that comes with the territory)
Sure there are days when I want to pack it all up and quit. Days when I hate it. But then there are far more days where I love it and throw everything I have into it. The frustrations come from wanting to succeed more than anything else.
I could re-quote so many famous musicians, actors, tech billionaires, CEO’s, bloggers (yes bloggers!) who have been touted as overnight successes, instead they entail how many years of hard work, study, practice and repetition all led to them reaching that “eureka” moment.


Going back to Kid Cudi’s lyrics. It really outlines how our society pushes this dichotomy of thought “Slave away to get rich and happy, but at the same time don’t you dare work too hard because all those idiots that work hard are simply working for the man and will never be as happy as you living free.”

Simply put, if there’s something you love, something you really want to pursue, then go for it. Know that to succeed it’s not always going to be easy, but it’s also not always going to be painful. There is good and bad with everything, but isn’t it worth it if it’s in the pursuit of your true happiness?
Whether that be in career, a weight goal, a health goal, travelling, trying something new in life..
Just remember it doesn’t happen overnight, but it does happen!

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P.s Once again all photo’s have been taken by Louis and I! Hope you enjoyed them and this post <3

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Mel’s sugarfree dairy free chocolate


It’s recipe time!
I’m usually more inclined to write what’s on my mind, but this time I’m writing what’s in my stomach :)
Now I’m not one of those whom insists on healthy eating 24/7 or denying yourself the delicious joys in life, but sometimes you just have to eat healthy. Sometimes there’s no choice, your body calls it quits and tells you “NO MORE DELICIOUS CANDY, NO MORE DEEP FRIED SNICKERS BARS AND CHOCOLATE DIPPED SALTY CHIPS.”
mmmm just writing it makes me hungry.
Chocolate anyone?

Well I may just have an answer for you. As someone who has abstained from sugar for the past year (394 days, but not counting or anything.) I jump on every chance to find substitute recipes.
My heart leaps whenever I see people posting “Sugarfree cheesecake” or “sugar free custard tarts” only to find that it’s not really sugar free, it uses banana’s, medjool dates, fruit juices as the sugar substitute. Yep I’m in the unfortunate position of not even being able to have fruit. So naturally my heart drops when I realize these recipes are just teasing me. So close yet so far!

If you’ve been abstaining from all things unhealthy, then this might just fill the spot!
So read on below for the simple steps on how I make my sugar free chocolate.
* Full disclosure this chocolate doesn’t completely taste like real deal. It doesn’t have all the delicious refined sugars and dairy :( but it does have cacao, coconut milk, almond butter and lots of other goodness. It’s probably the healthiest dessert ever!

Step 1
Start with some pure cacao. baking chocolate is fine as long as it’s 100% cocoa or cacao. No dairy no sugar :)


Step 2
Break it into pieces into a metal bowl or double boiler. 100g – 150g should be enough.

Step 3
Add coconut oil, a few teaspoons. Not too much!
Place the bowl over a saucepan of simmering water. (note, never put it directly in the saucepan as this will cause the chocolate to seize or burn.)


Step 4
Time for the coconut milk and cream!!
One can is good, add more or less depending on how creamy you want it.

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Step 5
Take the chocolate off the saucepan and let it cool down a little (one or two minutes is enough).
The sweet part! Add 1 or 2 of the tiny scoops of stevia. I use the pure form, anything else might contain fake chemical sweeteners, which defeats the purpose of making this chocolate.

Step 6
Make sure your chocolate mix has cooled down, if it’s too hot the vanilla extract will react. It doesn’t need to be cold but somewhere in between. It’s a fine line, go with your gut feel.
Add one teaspoon of pure liquid vanilla extract and four tablespoons of almond butter. (Note you can use any kind of pure nut butter, I just prefer almond butter.)

Step 7
After mixing well, pour out onto a lined tray. spread evenly.

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Step 8
Put the tray into the freezer for 20-25 minutes. It should be hard when you tap it.
Cut the chocolate into chunks and voila you have delish chocolate!
Place back into the freezer and eat at leisure, or eat straight away!

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Notes: At step 7 you can add all sorts of toppings to your chocolate. Coconut slivers, crushed nuts etc

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Why you should stop reading all the articles that tell you “Why you should”

Melmo Yellow bush

At least once a day I see a shared post pop up on my Facebook wall saying “Why you should…”
Some of them I click, and others I ignore.

The ones I click are usually the ones talking about wanderlust, advice for being 20-something, things on following your life dreams and goals.
So I read them, I lap up all of the information, I feel like I’m having an epiphany on this “new way of living” having my eyes opened… And then I close the article and feel seemingly empty. Something is missing, I feel unfulfilled, like I haven’t achieved anything in my life, like there is so much more to do, so much to achieve that I haven’t achieved by now.


Then suddenly after clicking dozens of these articles and feeling none the better after reading them I realized that their click baiting titles and fluff content were nothing but things designed to get you coming back for more.
All this advice comes from so many people that probably aren’t even following their own guidance. There are things in there that say “Give up your job and travel the world.” Then the next article tells you to “Work hard, focus on your dreams and forego the fun things in life, a little sacrifice will be worth it in the long run.”
All these articles are so contradicting I can understand how anyone can get lost in the blogosphere world.

Melmo Night Van

Do I even mention how patronizing some of these articles can get? One that got me feeling frustrated was the one that said “People are born travellers, others are unlucky.”
As if being nomadic is a badge of honour and loving the country and hometown you were born in, is something to be ashamed of. I’m sure you’re aware that I’ve lived and travelled A LOT by anyones standard, but even I finished the article feeling empty and unaccomplished.
All those amazing travel pictures, of girls wandering half naked through mountains, lovers kissing in a lake, friends jumping into the ocean. Pictures of young beautiful twenty year olds partying with expensive bottles of champagne and dewy flawless skin .. they’re enough to make anyone feel inadequate.


But here comes the clincher. These bloggers don’t look like that, they’re not really living these lives 24/7. Sure they probably go on great holidays and to great parties but lets be serious, these are not their photo’s or their constant lives.
They’re not some magic fairy godmother that can write the meaning to life in a single blog post.
So I caution you, by all means read these articles however keep in mind that they are a loose “guide” on how to look at life. The minute you start feeling bad about yourself and your achievements, it’s time to take a step back and realize that not everything in these articles is designed to be taken as verbatim for constant living.


So there it is. Love the life you’re living, do the things that make you happy. Don’t feel guilty about watching TV instead of working late into the night, don’t feel bad about wanting to stay at home instead of travelling miles and miles. Basically don’t let anyone on the internet make you feel bad for doing things you love!



p.s All photo’s have been taken by myself, and Louis Lay :) Expect to see many more from us, and hopefully you can follow our journey and improvement along the way!

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I don’t know how to introduce this topic without turning off half of my readers with the mention of one word.
How did it become such a dirty word? How did it turn into this great big “anti-men”, braless, sexless motion.
Let me set something straight. It’s not anti-men.
Wow, how did something that supposed to be about women empowerment turn into something about men? seriously.
I will proudly say that I am feminist, as well as masculanist (did I really just make up a word?) Or perhaps i’m humanist?
Did we ever stop to think that it’s not really the men who tore this “feminist movement” apart, that it might have come from the inside? That perhaps as women, we don’t support each other quite like men do.
I’ve heard so many women shake their head in disgust and spit out the word feminist. Like it’s a bad thing, like it’s something against women. I’ve seen women say “Oh god, I’m so not a feminist. Never, not me.”
I’m not suggesting you run out in the streets shouting it from the rooftop, or wear a badge proclaiming it. However I am suggesting that we as women stand up for each other, try to make our lives a little easier and more successful.

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Heavy topic I know. But it’s something I’m very passionate about.
Feminism: “The theory of political, economic and social equality of the sexes.”
This is not a “Women against Men” fight. far from it, it’s looking at Equality for ALL. Women just happen to get paid less (Some may argue that modelling is the exemption, this is not the case. Men get the same rates that we women get, they just happen to have less work available to them.)

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I’m not your “typical” feminist. I honestly don’t think there’s a typecast that we can conform to anymore.
I’ve shoot lingerie, bikini and nudes for my job. I happily wear clothing that might be considered a little revealing, and I enjoy receiving compliments about my appearance, as much as I get them on my achievements.
I’m going to mention a few names, and check your reactions to each.
Emma Watson
Dita Von Teese
Jennifer Garner
Nicki Minaj
Jennifer Lawrence
Miley Cyrus
Amal Clooney

I bet some of those names had you thinking “she’s awesome/hot/cool/great” and others “She’s gross/yuk/I hate her.”

What makes one person more acceptable than another?

Emma Watson made an incredible speech at the UN for her #Heforshe campaign, watch it here

I had the honour of meeting and working with Dita Von Teese for 8 days. The things I learnt off this incredible lady are unmeasurable. Not only was she empowering to every single women she spoke to, she manages to make a living off dressing sexy, owning her own lingerie line and being an amazing burlesque performer with sold out shows filled with men and women. Not exactly your typical feminist.

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Jennifer Garner made a great speech at the Elle Women in Hollywood gala. If you can’t be bothered reading it I’ll sum it up. Her and her husband, Ben Affleck, took notes from a press junket they both had. In every single interview she was asked how she juggled her work life with her family life.
Ben on the other hand was only asked about “the tits on that blurred lines girl” (Emily Ratajkowski who was in Gone girl with Ben).
Jennifer went on to say “they’re real and fabulous.” Showing that her issue was more with being asked about a supposed womans’ role as compared to her husband who shares the exact same work and family life as she does.

Nikki Minaj, Oh wow yep she’s definitely out there and makes her views aware. If she’s not dancing on stage scantily clad, she’s singing about sexy women and about sleeping around.
And you know what, it doesn’t hurt me one bit. Sure I’m not about to star in a video like hers (let’s face it I’m about 4000 squats short of doing that). But that’s just it, she’s owning her sexuality, she’s not being governed by a record label exec, demanding she takes her clothes off for a profit. She’s doing exactly what she wants without being subtle or worrying about the backlash, and I don’t mind it at all. She’s basically creating an antithesis of all the male rap clips out there.
If you can handle it, watch her video clip for Anaconda here

Jennifer Lawrence, what an incredible actress, and even better yet she sometimes refuses to answer questions on the red carpet about “who she’s wearing” and instead searches for food. A girl after my own heart.
She’s been known for asking reporters if they “ask the men that?” when they ask particularly sexist questions. Go girl, keep refusing to answer their stupid questions about what exact shade of nail polish you’re wearing!

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Miley Cyrus. Poor little Miley, everyone seems to keep saying. Nope not poor little Miley at all, the girl has been rocking it. She dresses how she wants, goes where she wants and parties wherever she wants.
She’s been successful and earn more money than I’ve seen in my lifetime, all before she was old enough to vote. To those of you who think she’s being controlled by hollywood, think again, the girl is having the time of her life.

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Queen Bey, she copped flak from “feminists” because she named her recent tour “Mrs Carter”
Notice I put the word feminists in quotation marks. Feminists are supposed to uplift each other, support each other. Yet they’re having a dig at a women for calling her world tour after her name. Yes, her name.
Beyonce has donated to many feminist causes (amongst dozens of other charities), so not only is she stunningly beautiful, an incredible entrepreneur and performer, but she’s also working on saving the world. Yep all hail Queen Bey. Who run the world?

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Amal Clooney, you’ll be forgiven for not knowing who she is, if not for her famous last name. Recently married to George Clooney, feminists lost their mind when she changed her last name to his. Last I checked this was pretty common?
She’s a renown human rights lawyer who not only fights for the worlds injustices, but manages to deal with her husbands industry pestering her 24/7.
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But all of these celebrities aside my main point is that it’s not always the men who are putting us women down. Sometimes it’s the women who hate the most.
Are feminists not allowed to get married? be sexy? Be the biggest advocate to their husband, boyfriend, best friend, brother? are we meant to be moderate, respectable, private, not wear bras, and not take our husbands last names?
Oprah. One woman who worked her way through an incredibly white male dominated industry at the time. Watch her talk about it here. She has been described as bossy, rude a man eater, lesbian, fat, emotional, damaged.
None of these words are empowering or constructive. Who gives a damn about her weight!? She’s not a damn nutritionist.
Who cares about her sexual orientation, straight, gay, bi whatever she chooses doesn’t really affect you or I (unless you have some kind of dream crush on her, which I then wish you good luck!)
Bossy, rude, all the words that when used to describe a man are “Forthright, strong, capable.”
Emotional… what the hell is that one, is that meant to be a put down? I’m glad she has real human emotions, she has empathy and her show was certainly the most successful talk show in the world because of it.

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I align myself with amazing uplifting powerful and loving friends. Whatever they’re doing, they’re doing it with all of their heart. and we need to support each other. We need to stop the bitchiness, stop the hate and the jealousy, stop the drama and the self importance. Imagine how far we could get if we all believed in each other.
It’s a tough world for a women, yet we as a population love to see the downfall of others. I am not immune to this, I can tell you the very first time it hit me that I was having negative thoughts about someone else was when Britney Spears had checked back in to rehab. All I could think was “what a train wreck, ha! glad I’m not like that.”
Then hollywood did an amazing thing, and both men and women started wearing t-shirts with slogans to support her, they mentioned her in their speeches. People were genuinely caring about another human being who was going through an immensely tough time.
From that day on I made it a conscious decision not to judge and not to feel false happiness from someone else downfall.
We help each other up, because that’s what humans do.
Feel elation at hearing another person has created something brilliant, and as always find what you love and go there with all of your being.

I’m always for supporting one another, no matter what your sex, pay grade, looks etc. But I felt that this post was important because lately I’ve seen so much hate from women against other women.
So I hope the next time you feel jealousy from hearing your friends new job promotion, or seeing another celebrity getting fat, or going into rehab, you rethink your thoughts.

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(This quote isn’t as true as the others. I think if you look at young girls they just love to play games and be happy, they’re not thinking about how much the other girls have in comparison to themselves.)
*To help you along, I started with little things. I tried to gossip less, talk about others less (unless it was to discuss their achievements). never mention weight gain. Always ask people what their goals and dreams are, follow up on those things. Work on and share your own goals.
Ignore the haters, so easy to say but also very easy to do. Shut down social media if you can’t avoid it on there. Take up mediation or playing an instrument, read books that interest you. Find groups or friends or a partner that you can discuss your interests with.
When I’m with my friends I usually introduce strange and weird topics into conversation, just as they do. Take interest in their lives but steer them away from negativity in a gentle way :)

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While I’m definitely not the authority on social commentary (as much as I would like to think so), I can tell you that I know just how important privacy is.
There are varying degrees of privacy and whilst I’m happy to share various parts of my life, there are certain things that I don’t want the random public to know. (Bet you can’t guess what colour underwear I’m wearing… I’ll never tell!)

Sometimes it can be good to keep your lips sealed 

There are some people who have a strict “No posting” policy of their children, weddings, birthdays and other important life events. I kind of like it that way. At weddings almost every shot is ruined by a hand holding a phone in the way. Why don’t we all just sit back and relax and enjoy the day, trusting that the photographer is doing the job they’ve been hired for (I can guarantee that their skills and expensive camera sure beat your iPhone shots!)
As for children I can totally understand parents wanting to post up adorable pictures of their little one for their friends and family to see, just as much as other parent’s want to ensure that random people on the internet aren’t able to find their pictures.

Then comes the question just how much do we expect of celebrities and people that have jobs in the spotlight, to share with us?
Politicians, Actors, Musicians, Instagrammers, Bloggers… none of them are immune to the media war raging against them. Each editor pushing for the latest scoop, the stories behind the person.
I understand that being “famous” comes with certain responsibilities, but being human should also come with certain moral responsibilities. We are NOT entitled to know every little gritty detail about a celebrities life and death.
When famous pianist Liberace died, his family and friends tried to keep the cause of death out of the media. Am I interested? sure (the movie was quite good!) but if it wasn’t published I wouldn’t actively search for answers about someone I never even knew.

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In a split second so many assumptions could be made from a simple photograph. Shoot for Cleo Singapore. 

We almost have this sense of ownership over the people we constantly see in the media. I’ve seen girls berate models over their choice of work (Quite literally it was a young model shooting for a young girls’ fashion label. And the trolls in question were angry that her work was not high fashion enough.)
It seems that the magazines and tv shows feed our addiction to wanting to know all about celebrities. We’ve gone beyond asking questions about their latest role/concert/photograph or talking about the craft of what they do. Now a “really good interview” is one where Oprah gets someone to break down and cry, admitting their drug addiction or whatever horrible past experience they’ve had. The audience ohh’s and ahh’s, saying how they have a friend or family member who’s gone through something like that. And then the camera’s cut. The interviewer stops hugging the person and pretending they care, they walk away with their expensive fee and the celebrity is left cold, having dredged up some of their deepest darkest things all in the name of “entertainment”.
But this is not entertainment. Watching someone break down over months, weeks or days is not my idea of enjoyment. Laughing at memes about how “stupid, fat, ugly, hopeless, addicted and train-wrecked” someone is, can’t be good for you or for the other person.



Another picture that could easily be misconstrued. (On set for Miracle Condo’s TVC shoot)

Humans are curious creatures by nature. If we weren’t, then we wouldn’t have discovered that we could utilize fire (thanks homies!). But stop and think about it. If you wouldn’t feel comfortable having those questions asked of yourself, and broadcasted to millions of people, then perhaps it’s not something that should be asked.

This leads me to my least favourite type of television. “Reality.” as much as you complain about how terrible it is, or how much you don’t want to see “Celebrity A” pick her nose on TV, if you keep watching it then the tv channels are going to keep paying to create them.
I think that the influx of  “reality tv”, seeing every aspect of someones life, has changed the way we think about privacy. But I’m telling you right now that if someone want’s to be private then it’s NOT OK to push them to open up more and “spill their secrets”.
If you agree with anything I’ve said, it’s so easy to let the world know. Simply don’t watch bad tv and don’t buy gossip magazines. Easy peasy!


Is this my real wedding picture, or a simple dress up? :P 

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